--.The Memories Of Us.--

150KM Failure, 125KM Success. I expected 150KM. The route was clear - It was at least an extra 20-30KM. But i guess 125 is still not as bad. Well, Yesterday i cycled one round around Singapore. Started at 4pm, ended at 1am. Headed southwards to the CBD, then to Telok Blangah and west coast. Then up to Boon Lay and Lim Chu Kang. Lim Chu Kang was not what i expected though. It was a flat road and was very smooth. Then Kranji, Sembawang, Yishun, Hougang, Pasir Ris, Changi, East Coast, and back home through Aljunied and Sennet Estate. Every single location that i went to in the west was not what i expected. The scenery was fantastic. Neo Tiew had great sceneries that looked like Malaysia's. Sunset occured while we were at Neo Tiew and it was just great. Anyway below was Glen and me at Lim Chu Kang... A great shot while we were still cycling. heh. But anyway I got a cramp at Changi and this is the first time that I've got one during my cycles. :/ Ohwells. I'm getting old. ):

Looking Back, Moving Forward. Lets see now. Sunday was thanksgiving at JW. Really haven't been there since August PM i think. :/ Nice toilets and beautiful lifts. ;D Nice place. Hmm, after that was supper. Home at 130am. Amazing luhs. Today was rotting at home. Surfed the net for the entire day. Super boring. As for tomorrow(Tues), might be cycling with Glen. And maybe with Hameed in the night. I don't know. :/ And 2008 has passed fast. Maybe it's cause of 'O's. I don't know. All I know is that 2009 is appearing in our watches or calendars in less than 46 hours. I just really wish that these hours will not fly by so fast. I've yet to bid a proper farewell to 2008. Sigh. I'm not ready to end this year yet. But I guess that I have to...

Where Did I Stop? Shall update this week... Monday was CG's x'mas thingy at Rita's house, Tuesday was out with Desmond to get First-Aid stuff, Wednesday was out with Eugene and Fred, followed by Joey then Elaine and church peeps.Stayed the whole night in town with Elaine, then went for service on Thursday morning, followed by fellowshipping with them before going to Grandma's house. Friday afternoon I cycled down to East Coast to do some "racky" for the cycling group later on in the night. Then at night was the cycling thingy. Then today is Church! ;D Well, I'm pretty much dead by now so yeahh. Shall update again soon.

At the stroke of midnight... Party foams shoot straight up and screams fill the streets of Orchard Road. HAHA! No, I'm not gonna blog another compo. I so suck at it and I'm just here to feed my blog as usual. But really, I've been here at Cineleisure's subway since 1030pm and at the stroke of midnight, noises and cheers could be heard outside. Ohwells. But I'm still in here. For once, I'm not out there enjoying the free foam and party-sprays sprayed by the notorious banglahs or teenagers, which is actually fun if you dont mind being a snowman for the night. Well, Subway is boring and I'm awaiting for my 0355hrs movie slot for "Bedtime Stories". Heh. Shall tah tahs!

Fiction. 16 Days left. It was 10 March. We met each other on the net and that day was our first digital hello. I was in tangles of love and I was in a great mess. All I could relate on this day was my introduction. 15 Days left. I managed to get a closer friendship. My deepest troubles were poured out to her. Everything from another friend who had held my hand but turning it into a horror movie to my past relationships to my friends. Life was pretty carefree. All I had to do was to pour my troubles out and she will be there to lift it away from me. It was a great time, especially when it was a period when you needed someone beside you encouraging you. Days went by quickly as our life was shared. In just a couple more days, she will be flying off, back to her hometown. 16 March - 10 Days left to her departure... We had our first meeting out together. We had a great time walking around the mall and joking with each other. If life was that day everyday, not a single line of eyelining will...

IMPORTANT, This upcoming Friday will be a Night Cycling event. This is specially for N284 but friends of me/N284 are free to join. The event is in the process of finalization and so far, it is a trip from East Coast to Sentosa. It is a 2-way cycling trip and bikes will be rented from East Coast. Renting details will be finalised by the day itself after the renting shop has been contacted and set a deal. For now, the meeting point is East Coast Mac, around 9pm. It will end by 6a.m. Invitation will be sent by 24Dec. Please prepare about $19 - $10-$12 for bike rental, $5 for own food/drink, $2 for Sentosa's enrty. THANKS! Please try to make it. (It's the only trip that many cautions and preparations have been done. Seriously.)

Just Remember, Christmas hit me as hard as a comet crashing down onto earth and destroying it. I wasn't in the christmas mood for the past month. The joy of christmas enters in full fetch by early december. I ignored this half-month of x'mas and today it totally smacked into me at once. IT'S CHRISTMAS! AHHH! As of now, it is just less than 48hours away from x'mas. Christmas shopping, decor, and everything else has yet to be choked up! Ughs. The time to be merry and joyful is finally here. Oh God I'm not prepared for this. I do not want Christmas Day to pass. Time is flying faster than i can think. Sigh. God, please slow down my last two days before Christmas. Sigh.

Actually, I've got nothing much to blog about. But I'm just here to feed it some words before it dies and I'll have to resuscitate it. It's now the time of the year again, where jingling bells are a common sight. Heavy rain and a cool sun are a part and parcel of this season along with the strong gushes of wind that enters my house and blows away all my nonsensical stuff from the tables. My curtain is constantly flying like how it does if this were a horror scene, except that the whistling sound of the wind is M.I.A. Christmas, oh christmas. Forever a season where love is confessed, relationships are formed, presents are exchanged, and doing nothing would create a feeling of conviction -- for Christmas is a day where you'd better do something instead of lazing around and napping. But honestly, I look forward to the cooler weather every December instead of the presents. (:

Continued... (Read the bottom post first, this is a continued post.) Well, 2 0 0 8 is coming to an end in just 17 days. Christmas is coming soon as well. I remember that when I was younger, I would be so excited over Christmas when it was nearing. But as I grow older, the excitement seem to fade. Now I am not even looking forward to Christmas. Maybe I'm looking forward to New Year, but that would be because of the fireworks. I wouldn't want 2008 to go... This year has passed extraordinarily fast and I am not satisfied. Much has happened and changed my vision in life, and it is a year that is worth remembering. Every year I get to this point where words can never describe how much I wish December was not here yet. Last year being at Esplanade for the countdown was great. Maybe someone else could follow me this year. Sigh. I'll see how it goes... Hopefully this year will be better.

Remember It... Many call me Emo by the songs that i listen to. Honestly, you're only half right. Well, it's true that i am pretty emotional and emotional people will listen to emo songs. But, sometimes the song is in my playlist for over 4 years for a reason. And the reason is because it reminds me of an event back in the past of my life. Some may not be significant, but some may be. And some songs may represent two events which I've encountered, mostly because the song was played while i was at that place. Songs can tell and remind you of many things, be it relating to the lyrics or not. An insignificant event? Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls playing in 4a.m. on a rainy morning of November 2005 while i was looking out of the window. Random? Maybe. But i will always remember me doing that. A significant event? Home by Chris Daughtry playing in the evening of 4th June 2007 in Sentosa, as well as volunteering at Stan Chart S'pore Marathon on 7 dec 08. Call me sentimental o...

You Call Me A Stranger . Well, is it monday blues? I do not know. Or is it just moodswings? Or is it Christmas? Well, this year has passed real fast, faster than any other year actually... In just 24 days, it will be the first day of year 2009. It's time to look back at the visions and goals for 2008. How far have I achieved? Quite much actually. My spiritual life, my studies, my relational life, and my emotions. Well, maybe not much for my emotions, but at least it's better? Just wish these moodswings will go away some day. Well, I will always remember yesterday at the volunteering thing -- Mud, perspiration, shouts, lethargy, fooling around. It's just great. Probably the most fun volunteering thing that I've ever participated in. And probably missing it is what's causing this moodswing. Well, Christmas & New Year is coming up. Someone, ask me out on these two days for countdown. ):

Greatness. Hmm, shall blog from Sat. Got woken up at 12, and went for church at 2.15pm. Service was pretty awesome today. After service was dinner at coffeebean, and then John, Jere, James, Ivan, Collin, and me went over to cartel at raffles city to slack, before going esplanade to slack till 145am in wait for the Stan Chart Marathon volunteering thing. Then went to Raffles City as well for the toilet, before going to report. Volunteering was pretty fun. Jere complained the most. HAHAH! And of course, I stayed awake for the longest, but took a 30minute rest at 12. lols. After that I was pretty much awake. In all, the job was fun, especially with two people behind you always "supporting" you. Lmao! Hmms. Duty ended around 2pm, and we left around 3pm. Me and James took 56 home and the rest took cab. Really a great event, will miss it. And it's now 1.35am, and me having moodswings again. Ohwells. :/

Anxiety. My goodness, i feel so anxious. And i don't even know why. Sigh. Maybe it's the job that I got. My first job actually, but I just don't feel happy. Yes, I'm excited for the job, but at the same time feel anxious. Maybe I'm feeling it cause of something else, but the best that I could explain, I need someone to cheer me up, and lighten my thoughts. Sigh, maybe the Stan Chart S'pore Marathon will keep my mind distracted. Sigh, hopefully.

Ughs. Yesterday(Wednesday) was a day out with my cousin Josh. Went to watch Quarantine. The shaky camera which was meant to bring the "natural-journal-recording-style" throughout the entire movie made me feel super light headed, and i seriously felt like puking, which i did a lil' at the end of the movie, but swallowed it back cause i didn't wanna dirty the theatre. Totally not nice. The story is also stupid. I'll ruin the movie for you - everyone either turned into a crazy human infected with rabies, or died. So yeahh. It isn't even scary to start with. And for the whole week, i've been feeling sick. Ohwells. Crazy weather. I feel like camping. ;D

Sweet & Low. I hate late nights at home. It is the time when your mind smashes your control panel and start running wild. Something bugging me is January 2009. It'll be the 'O' level results. Will I do up to the expectations of everyone? I'm seen as the top few in everyone's eye. Honestly, I'm not the study-material type. I do not know how I can do well in school examinations, and I worry for my Os. If it turns out bad, I am just a goner. Sigh. Where's my 10 points? True, I've got the scholorship thing again for being the top few, but that is school exams. What about Os? Sigh. Will I be a happy kid upon receiving my result slip, or be a sad kid? Sighs. Christmas is coming up. I've yet to set up my tree. Family gathering on christmas is drawing near, and I do not know how to face her. Maybe I'll just skip the gathering, again.

Yawns. Finally it seem like my life is slowly being fixed back together. Piece by piece is brought back together day after day. And all that I can say is, He is really awesome, and answers your sowing with faith. Well, service today was pretty alright, after that was dinner at Changi T3. Some things amaze me, and really broadened my perspective of things. Well, all that I can say is to continue being open and accept things, for one day you might just leave with a heart being touched and changed. Now i'm blogging at Junliang's house. Total of 6 people gathered here, with 6 laptops. Awesomely cool. And, i'm the only one awake with Gabriel now, while the rest have crashed. Seriously nothing much to do now, except surfing the net, which is what Gab has been doing. Ohwells. tahs! (:

heh! Well, Today(Tuesday) i took a cycle up towards the western loop of Singapore. A total of 45KM in 3 hours. Within the first 6KM, i had to take a break. In the next 5KM marks, i had to take breaks as well. The heat, along with the fats gathered from the intense studying during Os really brought my stamina down badly. Ohwells. Part and parcel of being a glutton. Anyways, in the evening i had dinner with Eugene and Fred at Dempsey, having Samy's Curry for the first meal. After that had Ben & Jerry's ice cream, and finally coffee at Dome. After that went home, and now i'm out with Jaan at tpy Mac, awaiting for 345am to go over to the coffeeshop to watch soccer. Ohwells. And and, new blogskin picture is coming up! Yayes. (It's adapted from Asia Conference). lols!

Hmms. The sprouts of short hair on my head has finally grown a little longer. Looking back at the pictures taken during term breaks, my hair was so much longer and i miss it totally. Well, i have nothing much to blog actually. Just glad that my hair is getting longer each day. For this post, i shall upload a picture from last year's Grad Night. The chubbier and better looking Kevin is there, and gone. Ohwells. (:

E-le. I've not blogged for over a week, and much has happened. Sat the 15th i got a pleasant surprise in church, 16th Nov went for service (again) and then got some bbq stuff after that with some peoples. The next day (mon 17th) was the bbq day, so i stayed up till 5am on sunday for preps. Monday i prepared a lil' more and shopped a lil' more before ivan and me fetched vann and ruiliang in a cab down to East Coast for the bbq. Was pretty sian, but once the food came, it was pretty good. People came and left at different timings, and night cycling started around 1am plus with 9 people. We went Changi Airport's Perimeter and got back to the pit by 5am. And didnt feel well. That was about it. Tuesday (18) i just stayed home to sleep. And from Wed(19th) till Sunday(23rd), it was Asia Conference 2008! Everyday i reached home at 1215am the earliest, and leaving home by 7am the next morning, except for Saturday and Sunday, which was 1015am and 615am respectively. Ohwells, whi...

His Love. hmm, yesterday morning was lunch at shushi tei with Magdalene, followed by walking around town. After that was out with Nic for footwear. Got a last minute pair of shoes, rushed home, changed, and went for grad night. Met Eugene and Fred before walking to the hotel. The facade of it seems so ugly, but the inside isn't that bad. lols. Didn't feel okay in Grad night. 4 empty seats. Those 4 in my group were missing. Sigh. But after grad night, 2 of them came to find us. Cousin left, so there's 7 of us - Me, Eugene, Fred, Marwin, Jaga, Samuel, and Royston. Watched a midnight movie of Madagascar 2 and sam left with fred after the movie. So the remaining five of us slacked at somerset before slacking at lido mac. At 6 i left with Royston to send him home at queensway, and took many pictures while waiting for the first bus. The whole night amounted to about 50 pictures. Not much, but more than last year. Shall upload some of them next time. Sigh. Will miss this group. Bu...

Rawrs. Me O's are finally overrrrrr! ;DDDD hahah. so after my last paper i walked around town with Eugene to shop for berms. All closed. So ate at cedele at wheelock for breakfast first. $40 yo! :/ Then went down to NUM, and bought me berms there. That's $80. :O I tell you, give me an entire day to eat and shop, and there i'll chalk up spendings of a few thousands... Anyway, i'm wearing that (below) to Grad night. Just imagine a white tie on as well. (: Weird, but ohwells. And oh! I've got another course into my menu for the bbq, which is satay. ;D heh! Now it's 5 types of stuff which are edible in my bbq. ;D

Fat. I took a break and cycled down to East Coast today to train and to check out the bbq pit for 17 november as well. I got a shock, the same shock which i had when i first saw pit 41. The pit is just 10 steps from the beach, and the view is amazing. In fact, this pit is in a better location compared to the usual 41. I believe that this bbq will be a good and successful bbq, and i believe with all my heart that the music, food, and fellowship will be great. But there's only 4 types of food. Someone please sponsor me other types of food? ): So far theres only chicken, sausages, crabsticks, and otak. :/

Howdy Ho, I'm ........ I'll get killed for the post above. ;D Anyways, i dont know i'm blogging. I wanted to blog something, but i forgot... Hmm... Lets see.... OH, OH! the bbq blog is updated once again. 8 days to the big bbq, and i have not settled much of the plans. Though next week i'll be a little occupied from Wednesday through Friday morning, i'll still have everything cooked up by next monday for the great bbq, as i always have done. (: I give assurance that this bbq will be different from the previous ones. (: Anyways, ending my papers soon! ;D And oh, HAPPY 5 MONTHS to me, and 6 months to you. (:

Okay, i know what's wrong with me already. After blogging the previous post below, i just relaxed and sat on my bed, not doing anything. And that was when i heard voices in my head. When you hear voices, it's a sign that you're lacking sleep. That's what i've observed about me for the past few years. Ohwells. Argh. Lack of sleep = hallucinations, sadness, and perhaps feeling troubled. Shall sleep early tonight then.

huh? I need a scream. I do not know why. Suddenly I feel very burdened. UGH! What is wrong with me today? I feel very irritated. I feel like something is needed to be done. Sigh. I'm physical-hallucinating, if there's such a term. :/ Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Or maybe it's cause i didn't do well for my geog mcq today. I thought i could slack the holiday knowing my results will be good. But i guess, i'll start slacking with a heavy and guilty soul. Perhaps i'm feeling stressed? Can't be. Sigh. Or maybe so.

She's In Love. Random title, for the random readers of my ugly blog. ;D Shall change the skin soon. Anyways, my papers have been pretty alright, and ohmygosh!, did I totally flunked my d&t paper! I don't even understand the questions. I will be able to answer if they described the question a lil' more, but they were so general and there's like 10 possible answers running through my head, and not knowing which answer they want. I'm like so dead. :/ UGH! That's my only A1 paper! ARGHS! hmph! Anyway, i realise that i'm spending way much on quick dining (not fast food). But it's fun, isn't it? Though it costs like $40 in a bill, it's better than the common food. Don't you get bored with the traditional chicken rice or minced pork noodles? :/

NEW BLOG. Hey, i've got a blog specially for my bbqs. So, when i have bbqs in the future, please look there for detailed information, though i'll post a summary notice box at the top of my blog. (: The link is http://thekevinbbqevent.blogspot.com/ and can be found as the first link on my clickables (links). ;D

Here I Am. I slammed into a door edge today, and blacked out. So fun, so fun. AND, BBQ ON THE 17TH! YAYES!

OHMAN! I'm in deep spending man... Ever since 9 september this year, i have spent S$1,089.94 and these were in the form of MST, which is mastercard transactions. I just saw this when i logged in to my ibanking a few minutes ago and took a look at my "settled transactions" for my debit cards. This spending is not including the cash withdrawals and NETs purchases. Though i've got a rebate card, it's still not good.. :/ Ohman, CUT DOWN, CUT DOWN!

Platinum Is Pretty. Hmm, i'm here to announce my BBQ! Actually i already booked it a long time ago, just that it's only appropriate for me to announce now because my exams are almost through. The remaining 4 papers are pretty easy to study for. Anyways, this bbq is mainly for everyone who's done with school or who is free. The details are below. Location : East Coast Park, Area C, Pit 27 . Date/Time : 17 November 2008, Starts at 5pm, Ends next morning. Please note the change in pit number. It's no longer traditional 41! lols. And f.y.i., Pit 27 is the nearest pit to East Coast Mac . I will make a video to guide all of you to the pit and upload it by 14th November over here. As always, there'll be music, self-marinated chicken, food, great charcoal smoke, and a great time to hang around together. People who are available, do come! (: Will be sending out invitations soon! Those whom i missed out, bug me about it! heh! Everyone whom i know can come! ;D

:O Ohmy, The Capitacard that i applied for came! But i seriously dont know why they put the name as "DBS Moneysmart Card" under my iBanking. It made me worry that they'd give me the moneysmart card which i would totally not need. The best thing about this Capitacard, it has rebates! ;D And capitacard is a platinum. ;D Ohman, i'm so happy. heh. Right now, i have 3 mastercards already, all for different purposes. This is just so wonderful... heh.

Ugh. Just came back from church. I'm really starting to wonder, what is wrong with me? Why was i so impulsive? I don't feel okay. Ever since the incident, i haven't been feeling okay. Sigh. I'm Sorry. That is what i need to say. Sigh.

Mau. Update Update! heh. Have been away from my blog for quite a while now. Well the Os have been pretty good and fun. heh. Good experience. (: And, i have been having a little bit of insomnia this week. :/ Don't know why as well. Anyways, i think DBS approved my other debit card that i applied for. I checked ibanking and saw an extra card in my "banking facilities". But it says DBS moneysmart card? I want the DBS Capitacard! If not, there's no point in it. ): Ohman. It'll still be the same debit card that i already have! ): Soblets. Nvm, shall wait for it to arrive, then i'll see what card they're giving me. Waillll..! ):

Untitled. (Nervous) I was trembling. I looked around. All i could see was about 6 teenagers hanging around. That was good, for a crowd would definitely increase the tension that was already over powering. My best friend Jack was across the road from the cafe which i was at. I guess he could sense my nervousness and thus gave me an encouraging smile with the traditional "okay?" sign with his fingers. I nodded my head, but perhaps too delicately for him to notice... We both had this plan since a year ago. It was nothing special - in fact it seems like a typical drama - but what else have we got? We have targeted this cafe and had every single delicate detail planned out already. Throwing away this plan would be too much of a waste, even if it was over rated and common.So far, everything has gone as planned. The fierce Singapore sun has took a break to recharge, and the dark clouds were hanging around, but not threatening to cry upon us. The cool breezes wafting past the cafe an...

Control, Mr Kevin. Ohmans. I have swiped my Mastercard 4 times this weekend. Thats about 3 month's quota fulfilled. (I gotta get 18 swipes per year for my card membership fee to be waived) Ohman, and it totalled close to $100 just for this weekend. Man, though i got reimbursed for most of the amount by parents, it's still a lot of moolah... I gotta cut down on my spending man. And wow, do i have statements like adults. GIRO payment, debit card, weekly deposits. I need the budget sheet man. ):

Where? Where is it, where is it, where is this beautiful mail? Ohmans, where is my Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon (SCSM) Volunteer confirmation email? I think i'm too excited for everything. :/ But really, it's supposed to be sent yesterday the 17th. ): Hmm.. This is not good... Usually the last few to receive it are the ones that got rejected. ): Sigh sigh. SSC, quickly send me. I'm anxious for it. ): And i'm excited for O lvl papers. :/ Anyways, today had prayer meeting. It passed real fast. And really, it was pretty easy for me to step in today. And i thank God, really , that i managed to get seats for the cg today. I was close to crying and breaking down while queueing up today. But God is good yeah? I managed to get it, with his blessings week after week. (: O's in 2 days, good luck everyone! (:

Ohman. I think i'm weird. I'm actually excited for Os, and i feel like it's a happy occasion. Perhaps it's the only period which i actually push myself to study. heh! No anxiety, no stress. How weird. LOL. Anyways, Stan Chart/SSC says that the confirmation for the Stan Chart S'pore Marathon volunteers would be emailed by today, 17 October. Ohman, they're late. And i really really hope we're selected. ): soblets.

Nervousness; For the majority of O levelers, it is less than 12 hours before our first paper. For a handful, it is about a little more than 4 days. I am here - publishing this pretty late as not many will read in time - to encourage everyone. I remember a verse that i got from the 21st August morning prayer meeting which co-incided with my O's English oral. It is really timely that i got this reminder from God above. and it is from Ephesians 3:20. I took my dad's bible to get two other versions, one of which is New International Version , and other being New Standard Bible . In NKJV, it says "Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us." In NIV, it says "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." In NSB, it says "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,...

Study. Ooh. So far, i've already studied for 35 hours since sunday. ;D Such an amazing accomplishment. And you ! I have not forgotten about your big big pressie, even though you didn't say anything about it. Give me time, after Os i'll slowly hunt for the one you like since you never told me which big one what you wanted. HEHEHEH! ;D And oh, tomorrow is time to cut my hair in prep for Os. ): Bye bye, hair.

! Oh my my my, Just shoo off. Can't believe it. Of everyone, i left you out. It was just you, and your doings.

Stan Chart & Os. Those are the only two things that i care about now. Stan Chart volunteering and Os. I'm excited for both. Os will be a great period of intense studying. Standard Chartered results for volunteer selection should be out by end of October at it's latest. Ohmans, i wanna get selected for it.. And i wanna do so exceedingly well for my Os to show all my relatives that i am not just all play, but contextual knowledge as well.. ):

HAHA! I shall re-do the previous post. I guess it wasn't good for my image to yell out my past which is just horrible, horrible. Well, i've got nothing to say. Tag all you want, it'll be deleted. I didn't do anything wrong, and i didn't start the trouble. Basic human rule - even if youre a gangster, you dont show it and start trouble first. If you do, you're a poseur, not ahbeng or gangster. Well, people stop scolding the poseur. If he tags, i'll just be deleting his tag. He can't do much. At most, i'll remove the tagboard totally, which i should have done ever since March this year. Life is peaceful living in ignorance. (: And once again, i'm just laughing at how people are try so hard to act cool. HAHAHAH.

Ughs. Next week would be O's already. And first written paper is Chem. Argh. Why can't it be something else. ): And the papers are all so close to each other. Well, it'll be exciting, but so busy. Hmph. But well, i'm not that prepared for it, but i can't wait for it to be over with! heh. ;D

... Are pears suppose to have a tinge of sour-ness to it? I've been eating pears these couple of days and they all taste sour-ish. And no, they're not bad. They're pretty fresh. Ohwells. Anyways, why can't some people just control what they blurt out? Right in front of my eye today, i saw a person close to crumbling. A person i least expected to react in this way did so. Sigh. The next time you blurt out something, think about how it'll affect him/her, even if that person is not hearing. It can change things.

Life. O's are coming, and i'm not scared. In fact, i'm excited for it. ;D It's more exciting than any other thing i feel now. heh! Can't wait can't wait. Just 2 more weeks. heh! Well, school is boring. All im getting everyday is just papers. :/ Shall pon school on Tuesday and Friday to avoid SS lesson and prevent myself from getting caught for hair by Tang. Hmms. Do i look attached? :/ It's a weird thing. 4 months of singlehood, people! I'm totally single! HAHAHAH. Don't get any wrong ideas please. And i'll be keeping it this way. (:

Stop Prejudice. I am totally depressed now. But i'll just sleep it off tonight. Sometimes, if i could turn back time, i would not change things. But i would want to re-experience everything all over again. Sweet moments in time will never be treasured until months or years down, though it will be remembered. Times when it was only me and you, and sometimes with him as well after school. Or maybe times when i ignored the three words desperately coming from her. Sighs. Just remember, i will always remember everything, everyone. Remember me as a once-jerk whom you once dated, a guy from class of barker 08', or maybe someone from your good ol' childhood days. One day, when anyone of you - and i really mean anyone, as long as i know you - needs someone to rant at, find me. I will not give solutions because it won't help the burden, but i will be all ears to let you rant at. Scream at me, type messages in caps, vent, or yell any problems at me. I'll be nice. I give this p...

Stan Chart. Woke up early in the morning today to go for Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon Leadership interview. The walk there made me melt under the charcoal hot sun. Apparently i'm the first and didn't even have enough time to dry off before going into the interview room. I guess i brought myself well, but i think my chances of getting through are low. Ohwells. Will just go by faith. (:

Hmm. I know how it feels like waiting for that one thing that you so desire to appear. For me, instead of waiting, i've decided to let someone enjoy the joy of it. I know you're both happy and sad. But at least i'm sure you're happy cause you got something - something that i have waited so long for but have yet to come - but sad because it was only half of your desire. But hey, you still got half of it. I got none. (: Ohwells. I'm blogging nonsense. No one would understand what i'm blogging about. Only myself. :/

Leadership Position? Hmm, I've been asked to go for a leadership position interview tomorrow morning amidst hundreds for the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon. Oh gosh. It's so scary. I didn't even tick the leadership position, and little did i know that the role as a Baggage Crew Manager was a leadership position. Arghs. Ohwells. But if i get through, i'll be so happy! It means i'll get to be part of the volunteer team of the marathon. So cool. ooooh. Addidas shirt!

Random. Maybe the exams are drawing near. Maybe things changed. Maybe my heart is no longer opened. Maybe it's just the time of the month. Or maybe it's just the day. Once again i feel totally drained out of my happy emotions . I went out with family today, yet i have to put up a smile. Everywhere i go, i have to put up a smile. A smile so weak that only people who know me well would know it's fake. Life is unfair, and many times, i get emotional strikes for no apparent reason. No problems, no disappointment, no stress, yet i get depressed every now and then. Someone bring me back to life? :/

Reminisces. Shall blog on the essence of my sweet seventeenth brithday barbeque event. Yes i was depressed on that day. But no doubt did i enjoy the bbq. It was only at night when it was close to being over that i felt down. Honestly, it's one of those days where things could not have gotten any better because it was already the best, but you still demand more. I was that small kid whining for more. Well, many things don't go the way you want it to because you planned it. You wanted it to go that way and only that way. The event was good with an unexpected 18 friends turning up. Yet i still wanted something more though it was already memorable. I wanted it to last the entire night. That was my only desire. The great music screaming so hair-standing clear from the surround speakers with it's max without distortion, and the smell of freshly barbequed chicken pain-stakingly marinated by my own the night before. Stares of passer-bys fill my pit as they slow down their pace whil...

Yayes. I got blessed with a new Acer AOA150. Yayes. (: But it's pretty small. Seems fragile to me. Ohwells. (:

Love. Something interesting came across me today. When your chinese isn't that good but your girlfriend is those cheena type and she asks you something that you don't understand, just reply "wo ai ni". That's all you need to know. If she asks "chi bao le ma?". Just reply the three magic words. It'll work wonders. (: Anyways i have managed to save up a reasonable sum in my bank! ;D I know, i rock. heh.

Before I Sleep... I shall post something totally random. She said you're afraid of me. He said you seem scared of me. When i walk past you, you daringly glance at me with that look. There are only two possibilities. One is you're truly terrified. Another is you're attracting attention from her to put an innocent face onto you, and making me sound like a bad bully. If you're truly terrified, then i can safely say that you had a motive on her from the very beginning, which i believe that you had. And now that you have gotten something, you should be more afraid, shoudn't you? You just don't know how to keep hands off another guy's " property" , do you? All the more you should be genuinely terrified of me. Seriously, she's yours. I am not like you. I will not go after someone else's. If you want it, i'll give it. But it'll only happen once. You're lucky it's only me. Okays, anyways shall head off to sleep. (: And people, pleas...

Roach-Phobia. I suck at Chem. But i'm trying hard to get it done well. I diligently did my Chem worksheets in class today. I was stuck at a mole concept question(as usual) and was trying all calculations to help me solve it, when i saw something black crawling on the floor to my right. Immediately i screamed "cockroach!" and jumped up onto my chair and yelled like peanuts. And Fred killed it by stepping on it with a crumbling sound, and out flowed yellow juice. 3 cockroaches since Friday in our classroom. That's 3 in a row. Arghs, hate cockroaches. And hate showing peepo i'm scared of it. So humiliating. :/ Tomorrow there's triple period of English. Arghs.

Study Mood. I haven't been using the com that often nowadays. It's either i use my phone, or i don't use at all. Guess the mugging mood is setting in now. (: Pretty good. Rawrs. I'm still so far from achieving 62hours. Anyways, just got back report book today. Seems like i did pretty well. I'm proud of meself. I shall see better results on O level results day. xD AND, standard chartered closed it's applications for it's marathon early. ): So i can't run. But, i'm trying to apply to be a volunteer for the marathon. Free addidas official's shirt! heh! So niceeeee! Plus the tag! oooh. shiokness! So excited for it! Hope they approve the application. ):

Blessed. I know i seem slow when i do this, but i read the middle and last few chapters of the book of John from the bible today. I don't know why, but i just flipped through and ended up there. I was greatly touched by re-understanding the last few days of Jesus in this one of the four books on the accounts of the life Jesus. His miracles through God is really touching, to re-read it again. Anyone who has no idea on what to read from the bible, read the book of john, even if you've read it before. (:

Maaaooo! 30 Days/1 Month to the first O level paper which is Science Prac, and 34 days to the first written paper! Arghs. Peeeepo, feel the closeness of the upcoming major exams? Tension is starting to sink in. ): And i can't believe it. A year before today, i wouldn't have picked up my book for more than an hour a day. And now its an average of 5 hours. Soon it shall be 7 hours a day during school days, and 9 hours for non-school days. Seriously, i feel more encouraged by only one fact. Which is that Glen started studying hard 4 weeks before his Os. I started way before prelims. Guess i should be doing much better than him? I hope so. A1 for d&t? Highly possible. A2 and B3s for all others except combine humanities? Possible with great mugging. (: C6 for combine humanites? Should be possible with some devotion. heh!

Os. 4 and a half more weeks to first paper, and around 8 weeks 2 days to freedom . Thats my great countdown and it is all that matters. 10 points for R4 is my aim, and by faith i will see it on my result slip. To be one of the top-5 of normal acad stream is my desire, and by dreams & visions i will see my name in the school records as one of the top-5. I believe in the power of his name, I believe in the promise of faith.

19. Today i didn't regret going to school. I found out my total marks for D&T which topped the whole level of sec 4 & 5 with an overall percentage of 80.8%. That would decrease my L1R4 points from 21 to 20. And if i don't use prelim English results and substitute the L1 with my O level english that was done last year, it is 19 points. Overall i've done pretty well for prelims in my level. (:

Woohoo. I have passed every single subject, and my L1R4 is around 21, R5 around 28. It's a great improvement compared to midyears. (: I also fixed my rear hybrid tyre and received my first genuine debit card today. ;D Now i have two cards! But both are under the same account so no diff. :/ Ohwells. But having both is still nice. (: Heh.

History, My Best. ;D Well, i have received all of my prelim papers except for English. I passed every single subject except for History. Arghs. But was pretty unexpected. Passed many which i never thought i'd pass. For English, all i've heard is that there's 2 failures in class. Most prolly shouldn't be me. So i've officially scraped through my prelims! yayes. ;D But, i'm down with a very very bad flu today. Probably the worst i've ever had. Arghs.

4bia. Yesterday night met Glen to go out overnight with him. Went cine, bought tickets for 4bia, and played arcade. Was pretty funny. After the movie went to eat at the Hong Kong Cafe before taking bus home. It's my 3rd time watching this same movie in theatres. Watching it once more would break the record. (: Was totally looking forward to today's afternoon, but overslept. Felt so dead, and left house for church feeling so unhappy. :/

I'm Not Moving. Well, i was thinking of what to blabber since my little friend here called blog was pretty bored of me not blogging. And i found it! A song for my week! It's called The man who can't be moved by The Script . Want it, tell me. I'll send you. (: These are the lyrics: The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved Going back to the corner where I first saw you, Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I'm not gonna move, Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand, Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am, Some try to hand me money they don't understand, I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man, I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do, How can I move on when I've been in love with you... Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me, And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be, Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet, And you'd see me wait...

A Dedication. I have finally found my real friends. N284 , i'm writing this with tears. I love all of you. It was all of you who believed that i could hit 10 study hours per week, and slowly move on to a higher number. It was all of you who believed that i could be serious with my life. It was all of you that helped me commit. And it is all of you, who are the ones who can see the difference in me now compared to last time. I really appreciate all of this. You guys can really encourage me. Thank you once again, N284 .

Peek Peek! First title with an exclaimation mark. (: Anyways today went for Yie Ling's cgm for make-up cgm. Was good. I received a revelation. (: So yeahh. Ate at Mac before rushing down for service by cab. And ZiQiang paid for both. THANK YOU ZIQIANG . Service was great. Anyways after that had dinner and then homeee. (: Today is the best day of my life with God.

Sensitivity. It is a strong word. Seriously, why is it that no one in this world gives two hoots about my feelings? No one is ever sensitive with his/her words to me, and people just don't realise how much it hurts me. I may have taken everything people say too seriously, but it is just there. How can i let everything just pass me by? Sighs. And oh, this post is not directed at a single person or at a few people. It's just a general statement . sighs. This is how sensitive i am. You may take a year to realise it. But in time you will.

Everywhere. Today the school went for a movie outing. My class watched Money Not Enough 2. Jack Neo came at the ending though. After that had lunch with Marwin, Eugene, Matt, Fred, and his bro at NYDC. Sherylene came as well. Over there, i took a dare to drink a little water with a lil' tobasco sauce in it, and also keeping it in my mouth for 5 secs first. Man, it killed. The instant i swallowed, my stomach didn't feel good. It couldn't accept it and was forcing me to puke. Arghs. Ohwells. And in the evening had gastrics. Walked quite a bit today though. :/ Hope i'll get better soon. But it was worth it. We seldom eat together out of school. (:

I wanna go mountain biking. I want to feel the adrenaline rush coupled with the vigorous pounding of my heart as i race through the narrow dirt tracks at speed which are too high for comfort. The rocky and slippery mud along with sharp turns on the dirt track will keep you praying that you can maintain control over your bike, even as your bike vibrates and fly over the rocks and only giving you a split second to decide what to dodge or where to turn. Mountain biking is definitely not child's play or for slow thinkers. One second could mean life and death. And it's a game i really want to go soon, especially with tomorrow being my last prelim paper. (: now, who wanna follow? (:

Blogging from my phone again... Well, have been blessed by the daily prayer meetings in the morning. In the afternoon today had eng O lvl orals. Reading was good, picture was bad, and convo lasted MUCH longer than reading and picture combined. I managed to interact quite well. So now, i just got to work on my written paper in October. ;D

MeowNuts. Let's see now, Saturday night went to watch sneak preview of 4bia at 3am with Jaan. Was actually deciding on whether to watch that or love guru. Felt that i wanted a thrill so we watched 4bia. I presumed that i needed a thrill, but i forgot about the time. A horror movie late at night. Man, it was just sick. Froze my backside. Ohwells. But was great. (: A movie after so long.. Anyway today was geog paper. I'm so gonna do badly for it. ): All i studied was for physical, and i didn't even get the points. Apparently i didn't pay attention to the points that i was suppose to note as i flipped through my book when i was studying. arghs, so sad. And, it's only a matter of time before i get caught for long fringe. :/

Called Me Yours Forever. Today, got chased out of Mac. I spent more than i should be. And, i dropped 20cents into my bowl of soup.

Living For You. Last monday i was physically sick. Today i'm mentally sick of life.

I am sick, again . Plus, i have 2 papers tmr. :/

Close To Giving Up. Seems like every time i try to lead or take initiative, there is something wrong with it. I already know why i am doing things this way, and there is a valid reason. It was later proven to be true. But still, no one believed in whatever i was doing even after it was proven right. Whatever i say, is not pleasing to anyone. I may have offended, but still, i wanted things done, not left around. Seriously, I'm supposed to be asleep by now but I'm still up and thinking about this. Maybe i should just follow you guys. I should keep quiet, do my own things, play around, and hope that someone else will take the initiative to do the task that was supposed to be done a minute ago.

Time Flies. Time seriously flies. It seems like just a month ago that i was standing at the same spot watching the firework display with Glen. I have not blogged about this. But i am now. When i was at FOP second night, i was looking around. And it was really fast. It really seemed like just awhile back that i was there worshipping God at the Indoor Stadium with Don Moen & Pastor Phil's church band. I cannot believe it. None of my years have passed this fast. Every year was the same except for this year, 2008. Sigh i have wasted my 2008. In 2 months, it is Os. Just awhile back, it was 3 more months to go. In just awhile, it would be a month to go before Os. Sighs. Anyway, below is a link to a video snippet of the FOP 3rd night. (of course im not the one who filmed it) But i just found it. Those who missed it, listen to the two drums playing together especially at the solo part. It's not very clear, but the best that i could get. Sigh. Time seriously flies. And im not feelin...

My Firsts. Today was the first National Day that i: \\ Went to watch fireworks w/o Glen. \\ Lost my cool. \\ Did not film or take a single scene of the fireworks. \\ Did not cycle down to Esplanade. \\ Saw it rain. \\ saw a different firework schedule. \\ Watch fireworks with more than 1 other friend. Cool eh? So many. Anyway today i studied until 5 with Steph, Riliang, and Vann, then we walk around tpy while waiting for James. Went down to City hall to meet Das & ZiQiang, then walk over to Marina Boulevard to watch the fireworks. I stood around the area that i stood last year. Check out my post exactly one year ago and you can tell that this years' fireworks were pretty boring compared to last year's. Anyway Das went off before the second round started, and there was sort of 3 rounds. Suppose to be 2. Pretty unexpected. Anyway when walking off, it was pretty funny. We were crossing the road to take a bus to Bishan to eat, cause we thought Lau Pa Sat was crowded. But when w...

And I'm Free. Let's see now. School was basically a drag everyday. Except the fact that i got full marks for radioactivity test. English paper was on Thursday and the passage was like so cheem. Didn't do well for compo as well. My sentences were far too simple; a primary one kid could write it as well. And today was just pretty boring. School started earlier and i had to lug an A2 corrugated board along with a bag and portfolio to school. After ndp celebrations at 930am, (it ended earlier than i expected) i went to eat breakfast with Eugene and Fred, then did D&T until 430pm. Time passed way faster than i thought. Rushed back to tpy, met a few church peeps, bought stuff, and went over to Rita's house for the steamboat thingy. Today was a long day, but a pretty relieving one. I submitted my journal and boards for d&t today. Today is the last time that i would ever see it. I am finally free from the bondage of d&t coursework and i can focus on other subjects. ...

Break Free. Well, i wanted to devote today to studying. But before i slept last night as well as today when i woke up, i felt real empty. I don't know why. But i studied for 2 hours, and decided to follow Ziqiang to FOP today. It was only him and me today. Service was great. Living for eternal things . I managed to capture the word much better today compared to yesterday when i was half-dazed. At the closing, Reuben Morgan's Hillsong team played after Parachute Band. But halfway through, he invited them back up to play together. It was just great with two bands playing at the same time. Hillsong's drummer was ecstatically good, with the parachute band's drummer backing up pretty well. It was totally awesome, and never once was there so many people so excited over praise. Ziqiang and I had our voices a lil' hoarse after, but it was just so great. Those who missed it, really missed a great event.

Write You A Love Song. Wells, my sister disappointed my dad when she insisted on going to poly instead of JC. I am aiming to go to poly as well. And i had this casual talk with my dad the other day. He knows about my wants, but he asked if i could make it to JC. I know he really yearns for me to be able to get into a JC. I know that i cannot make the cut-off. My aim for L1R4 is 12-14. And i will ruin my combine humans, which is the only other subject that I'm left to add to make my L1R5. And thus i would not be able to make it. BUT, even if i make the cut-off point and get myself into a JC, i believe with all my heart that i can survive in JC. I know that i can. But i just lack the commitment and perseverance to get myself through JC. My dad is really a nice person. He keeps to whatever he says, and sometimes even does more. Unlike my mother, he never negotiates whenever it comes to issues with money. He gives whatever i need, and whatever he is supposed to give as an allowance. I ...

Update. Shall update. Wasn't feeling okay the past week. So yeahh. School was pretty much a drag everyday. Except for the fact that i invested more time doing d&t during the weekday. (: Friday night i cycled with Hameed and his friends. Cycled to Geylang and back, then to Punggol to explore this abandoned house in the middle of a big field. I tell you, it can scare the balls out of you. The whole house is fenced up with thick metal grilles (which made us unable to climb in) and the house is very run down and had this creepy look. There was this part whereby we stopped to read this sign which warned against trespassing and suddenly the bushes rustled with the metal grilles shaking for like 2 seconds even though there was no wind. It was super scary and we were all scurrying and screaming. But anyway, that was my first time cycling to Punggol. Cycled close to 50km. (: And today was FOP. Was pretty nice, apart from the fact that i was super lethargic. :/

Your Love Is A Lie. Guys, i'm very troubled now. I'm carrying a very heavy burden in me right now. I'm near suicidal. Seriously. It is nothing to do with relationships, studies, or friendship. But to do with my current status. (i'm not referring to the single/attached status) I can't bring myself to smile, neither can i bring myself to have any interest in life. All i can do is to continue seeking God as i already had before this burden. He has brought me through 2 times. This is now strike 3. I don't want out at strike 3. I did a mistake. And it is killing me as every second passes. How can i continue with my d&t? I cannot concentrate on anything. God, please help me through, just once more...

Just So You Know. I shan't blog much about today. Had a bad day. Only thing good is that my group has to re-take our class picture because teacher wanted to add an absent boy into our group so that he has a part in the class. Anyway in the original picture i was botak , but in this re-shoot I'm not. So that is perhaps the only joyful thing about school today.

The 7 Things I Hate. Well, today school was pretty okay. After school went Kinokuniya with Eugene and Marwin. And i wanted to train, but it rained. But i started at 630pm anyway. Decided to turn back at AMK when the rain was really too difficult to tolerate. i knew i shouldn't have cycled today. Firstly, a cab dashed out of a parking lot and i was close to crashing. And it was wet. What if i couldn't stop in time? :/ And furthermore, there was a lorry behind. What if he didn't stop in time too? I would be sandwiched instantly. Second time was when dirt went into eye. I was blinded. Good thing i reached a Red light to stop and calm down a bit. Thirdly, 2 cars came together and i almost got sandwiched between them. Again, i was lucky enough to brake in time. :/ Argh. Singapore roads are so screwed up. And only one person horned at me today, even though i wasn't in the wrong. And guess who? Obviously a taxi driver. As usual. I'm super pissed with them already.

Rubik's Cube-y. Well, Tuesday was kinda boring. After school stayed back for Superteens. :/ Well, i want my 10 points. I want my straight As. Wednesday woke up seeing dark clouds, but still left home without an umbrella. Jun Hong shared with me his umbrella. School passed pretty fast and i slept from 3pm till 8pm. :/ Tomorrow is gonna pass real slow. Ohwells. I'm gonna train one round(50KM) around the Western circle of Singapore tomorrow. (: Time to work out my legs.

Pulau Ubin. Haven't been there in ages. :/ Anyway, today after school went home. Then rushed over to Tampines Library to study with Regina. Apparently i was pretty late cause i kinda lost my sense of direction, for once. arghs. Anyways after that had dinner at Pasir Ris and then walked her home to Simei. Long walk, but had nice talk. (: Nice scenery too, i must say. xD Reached home at 1020pm. 1hr20minutes to get home. Ohwells. So now im updating before i bathe and then off to my lala-land. (: And oh, it's time for me to start training again. Haven't cycled in ages. I don't want to downgrade to a one pack and ugly legs. ):