Why.

Why did I choose to not have a BBQ this year? Money and time was just a stupid excuse. Truth to be told, I hate it that something extravagant has to end. And I'm not even talking about BBQs for my birthday. It's for any BBQs. Sigh. I think that I really need a break. I'm not ready for June. I'm not ready for life. This year's May and June has been really bad and mean to me. I'm weighing the pros and cons of giving up everyday and the pros outweigh the cons. It's really tempting. If heights were not one of my fear which fall under the cons, I would have been at peace by now.

I just need you to be here to make it all better.

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