"there was this girl that i dated for 2 years
next thing i know is waking at 3:00 in the morning
with a midnight txt saying that she was brking up with me
that day i in the corner of my eye i see her in
another guys arms,i couldnt concentrate on my work
or anything else but her smile but then
it became a blur i wanted to pull a dagger through my heart
in front but then i think she will just ignore and forget"

I got the above comment from someone
who left it as a reply on one of the youtube videos.
No edits, just the original quote.
I bolded the last past
because it is really something that I've found to be true.
I really want to blog something but I just can't
because tagboard spammers will appear.
Sigh. But I've learnt.
And honestly, your girl cheating on you is not the only shit
that makes your heart be cut out and breaded with salt.
Bitching.
Bitching to other people about his work,
his life, his whatever. But in front of you, gives you the
impression that you've done everything well and acts
completely happy about it.

I just want to RUN to the windows and hop off.
Tears dropping onto my Mac.
Listening to Hillsong.
Has any of His promises came true?
Am I putting too much Faith that He will pull me out of this?
I just want to lock myself up.
And today is a good proof.
A good proof to show who is beside me now
when I'm on the brink of suicide.
oh God, why are you allowing this?
Have I not been Faithful in the little things?
Do I really deserve all this?
Why?

Sigh.